Lead the Follower

The benefits of a mentoring relationship are mutually empowering and they offer rich professional rewards.

By Donna Shryer

Mentoring is said to date back to the 8th century B.C., when Homer penned the Odyssey. As the epic poem goes, Odysseus, king of Ithaca, departed for the Trojan War’s frontline and entrusted the care of his household to Mentor, who served as teacher to Odysseus’ son, Telemachus.

As time evolved, mentoring moved from a 24/7 proposition to a more relaxed concept involving guidance and support. It’s a practice that’s served many great minds and talents. Socrates mentored Plato; Aristotle mentored Alexander the Great; Merlin mentored King Arthur; Ray Charles mentored Quincy Jones; and CRSs serve as trusted mentors to new REALTORS^®.

Mentoring: Myth or Truth?
Myth	Truth
The mentor does all the work. The mentor offers advice, guidance and sometimes solutions, but the mentee does the work.	Mentees drive the mentoring process. A good way to start the process is with a simple question. If the potential mentor is receptive, build from there. Or invite a potential mentor for a cup of coffee and briefly express your goals. Initiating short-term, goal-oriented meetings addresses both parties’ limited time.
Myth	Truth
One mentor can do it all. With the volume of skills needed in today’s real estate environment, it’s okay to seek the best mentor for a specific skill set.	Mentees should seek potential mentors with different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives. Intricacies, changing regulations and an ongoing learning process unique to your business may require help from several experts.

Ground Rules

Mentoring involves a more experienced and often senior staff member (mentor) partnering with a junior employee (mentee) and sharing professional advice while also modeling positive behaviors. These associations tend to be casual in nature, such as a quick sit-down to hash out a sticky issue, or slightly more organized, like a Q&A session at a local coffee shop.

Despite its relaxed manner, there are a few ground rules that empower the mentoring experience.

1. The mentor should expect nothing in return, stresses David Anderson, CRS, broker associate with RE/MAX Pueblo West, Inc., in Pueblo West, Colorado. With his 30-some years as a REALTOR^®, he feels it’s his responsibility to share his experiences and knowledge. However, at the end of the day, he does “get a great deal of satisfaction in helping someone else.”
2. It helps when the mentor and mentee share common values and principles, explains Leigh Brown, CRS, broker/owner at RE/MAX Executive Realty in Concord, North Carolina. “I think the strongest mentoring bonds come from symbiotic relationships.” In other words, if one person is solely interested in commission and the other party is more interested in new regulations that may affect the buyer’s ability to qualify for a mortgage, then this mentoring relationship may not go far.
3. The mentee needs to listen and learn. “Too often people ask for my advice but then do what they want anyway. That’s a waste of time,” Brown adds.
4. Mentor and mentee have to prepare for honesty. Anderson explains that his advice often begins by reminding mentees that they’re not going to be everyone’s best friend at the end of the day. “Sometimes that’s a tough lesson for newer agents. But they have to remember who they work for. If you’re the listing agent, you don’t work for the buyer, so the seller’s best interest dictates what you can or cannot do.”

>Take It from the Top

While most mentors stress that they help newer agents for the sheer joy of giving back, the truth is that mentors do benefit — just not as one would expect, says Jeff Wu, CRS, broker associate with @Home Real Estate in Tysons Corner, Virginia. “Mentoring gives me an opportunity to discuss new business practices and evolving technologies. So when I’m talking with a mentee, I’m also reinforcing my own knowledge.”

In addition, Wu adds, “If I’m going to offer advice, I have to walk the talk and hold myself accountable for what I recommend.”

Similarly, Gregg Fujita, CRS, sales agent with Harbor Bay Realty in Alameda, California, discovered an interesting byproduct as he began mentoring future Council of Residential Specialist leaders.

“I learned how to be a better communicator — speaking honestly and to the point, but never talking down to the folks I’m mentoring. I learned to give them credit, but at the same time, honestly discuss what they could do better.”

With this insight, Fujita ultimately sharpened his motivational skills — an ability that serves him well as a mentor and as a REALTOR^®.

It’s Never Too Early to Learn

The obvious mentee benefits are straightforward — guidance, knowledge, insights — although some advantages may surprise you. A good mentor can help you:

• Discover hidden talents
• Increase career satisfaction
• Expand your personal network
• Grow your source of referrals

“A mentor can also be a reassuring asset,” Wu says. “A newer agent may sit down with a client to sign the settlement documents, and all the paperwork and legalese is overwhelming for the client. That’s when a mentor can step up and help the mentee. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, ‘Don’t worry. These forms are normal and part of the process.’ So I learned how to watch for anxiety in the client and keep them calm and focused before any craziness gets out of control.”

There’s another benefit referred to as psychosocial support. Strengthening the mentee’s confidence, identity and effectiveness in a professional role can trigger a powerful growth experience, which can, according to the American Psychological Association, “provide explicit and implicit lessons related to professional development as well as general work-life balance.”

Fujita learned firsthand how far a good mentor’s help can go. “A fellow CRS mentored me professionally, and through her support, I gained so much self-confidence and self-esteem — not just in the office, but in life, too. I can truly say if it wasn’t for my mentor, I would not be married to a wonderful woman, have a 2 -year-old son, or have had the honor of being Council President in 2010.”

With a history of being mentor and mentee, Anderson knows well the advantages of both roles, and he’s quick to add that you never know when those roles might flip-flop. “Always be ready to help out if someone has a question. No one knows everything, and in this business, everyone is always learning. Who knows? You may have the next question!”

Donna Shryer is a freelance writer based in Chicago.

Check out The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently, by former NFL coach Tony Dungy, for more tips.